Gracious close

With the benefit of hindsight – and a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek – I’ve drafted an alternate close that Barak Obama might have delivered in order to wrench a resounding victory from his otherwise lackluster performance in the first debate on October 3. You might think of this is as the “closing summation that wasn’t”.

<looking to the moderator…> Jim, thank you for moderating tonight’s illuminating debate.

<glancing toward the other candidate…> Mr. Romney, I want to thank you to you, too. With all the new ground you covered tonight, this has been more like a fruitful discussion than a debate. In just ninety minutes, you have revealed several interesting new dimensions to your political persona.

Tonight you repeatedly championed the cause of the middle class. I applaud this new-found concern – which unfortunately was missing earlier in your campaign. I’m sure you brought a sigh of relief to the vast majority of Americans, <looking into the camera…> and put smiles on the faces of my supporters.

<looking at Romney…> Mr. Romney, several times tonight you have pledged to not cut taxes by five billion dollars. This is also welcome news to the hard-working folks in the middle class, who realized that your previous promises of largess to the wealthiest taxpayers would fall heavily on their backs. It is truly refreshing to hear the new fairness and equity you are espousing.

You also revealed tonight another new direction in your thinking that will force insurance companies to provide coverage to everyone, regardless of pre-existing conditions. <looking into the camera…> Of course, Obamacare already does this beginning in 2014, and I am gratified by your new support for my program to bring about a fairer and more competitive health care industry in America.

<looking at the other candidate…> Mr. Romney, even more important than the new specifics you have unfurled is your promise of a bi-partisan approach to governing. We both know how the paralyzing legislative gridlock of the past twelve months has left our nation feeling uncertain. Assuming you bring along the rest of your Republican party to this more reasonable approach, we look forward to a productive session that enacts positive changes for our country.

<looking into the camera…> As I remain confident that you, the American public, will continue to support my presidency for another four years, I am excited by all that we can accomplish together, having left the rhetoric of party extremism behind. <looking at the other candidate…> So, Mr. Romney, even if you do want to try to shoo Big Bird away, let me be the first to welcome you to your new position closer to the center aisle.

<eyes turning to the camera…> Fellow Americans, I thank you, too, for your ongoing support. After you reelect me, we will work together through 2017, bringing new strength and vitality to our great country. My second administration will continue the drive for jobs and income growth in the middle class, which will in turn spread prosperity across the entire socioeconomic spectrum. And the full roll-out of my Obamacare program will mean we have a healthier American population, enabling us to continue functioning strongly in an increasingly competitive global marketplace.

<flashing a trademark smile…> Ladies and gentlemen, I thank you for your ongoing support.